It's been a long time since I visited these pages but I'm moved to share the experience of my first pole dancing lesson. Yep, I said pole dancing! In a mad moment while I was in Barbados in January I was browsing Groupon and saw an offer 'Buy 4 pole dancing lessons for £15 instead of £45. It seemed a bargain. I put it out of my mind till recently when I was clearing out and found the coupon - nearing its expiry date. Emma said come along on Sunday and see what you think.

I went straight from the Mind Body Spirit fair at Derby University where I'd been listening to the wonders of creating your own meditation to making love to a long, thick, shiny pole in a large room in a snooker club. Me and four other girls (all young enough to be my granddaughters - or at best daughters) stripped down to vests and shorts (all the better for our legs to grip the pole) and awaited instructions from the teacher. I was introduced to the straight leg twist, the fireman's spin, graceful wheel (which looked anything but when I performed it) and a whole host of others. All of them involved me holding the pole as high up as I could with my right hand and pulling my full body weight up while swinging around the pole. (Apart from the one where I had to leap onto the pole and hold it firmly with my crotch - Ouch)

Don't get me wrong. I knew I'd need a bit of upper body strength and had been doing pull ups at the gym. What I was unprepared for was the expectation that I would throw myself gracefully around a slippery pole toes pointed, lips pouting, trying to look sexy. Wasn't this dance developed for acrobats?

I'd been sliding down the pole for about forty minutes before the teacher suggested using some of that cream on my hands that helps with grip. It helped enormously. I could swing round without hitting the mats like a sack of potatoes every time. Encouraged by my progress she gave me a few more moves to try; one involved swinging my legs out behind me while sticking my hips forward. I saw her do it so I know it's possible - just not possible for me - yet!

The classes are an hour and a half but after an hour and twenty minutes the teacher took pity on me and gave me the option of carrying on practicing for another ten minutes or stretching my arm and going home. As my arms could no longer hold me up I went for the latter.

Two days later my shoulders still feel dislocated and I'm having difficulty changing gears - despite taking the precaution of going for a steam, sauna and spa first thing yesterday. I've noticed a few muscles have popped up on my upper arms and my ribs hurt.

It feels a bit like sex - the thing we are simulating. Not much fun the first time, but hopefully it will get better. Three more lessons to go.