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A few years ago I decided to start a new career as a performer. I used to be a biology teacher but couldn't face walking around in a white coat all day teaching children who didn't want to learn. Actually it wasn't so much the children as the system cause I think all children want to learn - they just don't all want to learn in schools. Anyway I now work as a Life and Executive coach. Work is perhaps not the right word because it never feels like work. I just love to see people grow and change. I love it when they peel of the layers of limiting beliefs and find their true self. And I make some great frends in the process. I've re-discovered my writing and have published two poetry books and now working on 2 CDs, a novel, a book of short stories and talking to someone about a collaoration on a film script. That should keep me busy for a whild. Oh and I do bellydance.
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Tuesday, 31 January 2012

Lesson 30 - God is in the mind

'God is in everything I see because God is in my mind.'

The idea for today is the springboard for vision. Today we are trying to use a new kind of 'projection.' We are not attempting to get rid of what we do not like by seeing it outside. Instead we are trying to see in the world what is in our minds, and what we want to recognise is there. Thus we are trying to join with what we see, rather than keeping it apart from us. That is the fundamental difference between vision and the way you see.
This idea is to be practiced as often as possible today, either with eyes open while looking around or with eyes closed looking within for subjects that come to mind.

Today was my IT training day. There were plenty of times when only the thought that God was in the web screens I was trying to grapple with, stopped me swearing and thumping the computer. I'm a life purpose four, and I'm trying to use the step by step approach to learning the things that I can no longer avoid. I was rewarded by a cream tea in Dovedale, almost made it worthwhile (would have much preferred having the cream tea without the IT). Thanks Andrew. I'm hoping that by the end of next week I will be able to manage my websites. I have been picturing it in my mind. Ease and flow!

On the subject of vision. I was introduced to Veronica Chapman's book, Freedom is more that just a 7-letter word. It is based on ridding ourselves of the illusions of money, legalese and religion. A fascinating read so far. Already I'm feeling it will be one of those books that creates a paradigm shift for me.
Monday, 30 January 2012

Lesson 29 - God is in everything I see

'God is in everything I see.'

The idea for today explains why you can see purpose in everything. It explains why nothing is separate, by itself or in itself. And it explains why nothing you see means anything. In fact, it explains every idea we have used so far, and all subsequent ones as well. Today's idea is the whole basis for vision.

In the six two minute practice periods, begin by repeating the idea, then apply it to randomly chosen objects.

Today was another easy day, because I've already accepted the idea, but I was seeing it through new eyes. It was a massive reminder that God is in lampposts, in candles, in door handles, handbags, clocks, and cars, as well as in trees, flowers, cats, dogs, vagrants, politicians and bankers.

God is very evident in Romance is Dying, Roger's play, which I've agreed to advise on (I think co-direct sounds a little grand for what I do). I went to rehearsal tonight. It was great to see something that began as a sketch develop into a fully fledged play, with a cast of ten. It will be premiered on Saturday 18th February at the Old Stock Theatre in the City Centre. It was really fun to be in that whole make believe world of the theatre. Speaking of make believe - I hit the hundred page mark today with the new novel, just over 25,000 words. YEAH!!! Again, the characters are taking it down a surprising path.

Pic is of Roger (director) in full flow.
Sunday, 29 January 2012

Lesson 28 - A different view

'Above all else I want to see things differently.'

Today's lesson gives specific application to the idea for yesterday. In the practice periods specific things are named, e.g. 'above all I want to see this table differently.' By saying that you are making a commitment to withdraw any preconceived ideas about the table, and open your mind to what it is and what it is for. You are not defining it in past terms. You are asking what it is, rather than telling it what it is. You are not binding its meaning to your experience of tables, nor are you limiting its purpose to your little personal thoughts.

'Above all I want to see this.....differently.

Today's lesson was amazing. So many things I was open to seeing differently. Had a massive lesson in seeing people differently, and not through my own preconceived lens. Thanks Geoff for the lesson.

Went to a psychic fair today. Had palm, tarot and aura readings. All consistent with each other, have now moved into the white aura area. Need to meditate more (at least an hour a day), eat more spinach, and get out in nature more. Dreams are becoming more significant, but my big lesson is unconditional love. If I get it this time round I may not have to come back. It begins with me, you can't give what you don't have.

Above all I want to see Predencia differently.

Pic is of Geoff
Saturday, 28 January 2012

Lesson 27 - I want to see

'Above all Else I want to see.'

Today's idea expresses something stronger than mere determination. it gives vision priority among your desires. The idea for today needs many repetitions for maximum benefit. It should be used at least every half hour, and more if possible. It is recommended that you set a definite time interval for using the idea. It will not be difficult, the real question is, how often will you remember?

This was an easy on for me today because I'm used to working with affirmations and there was no resistance to to the idea itself that 'above all else I want to see.' I did fifteen minute intervals up to 1 p.m. but forgot while I was on a two and a half hour phone call. After that it was very intermittent, but when I remembered I did extra repetitions. It was a great day. My spirits were high, I wrote the 4000+ words on the novel that I set out to do, despite a surprise visit from my son and his new girlfriend, and having to shop and cook when I hadn't planned to. I'm now nearing the end of chapter seven, which is where I'd originally planned chapter to be. The characters thought different.
Friday, 27 January 2012

Lesson 26 - Watering the flowers

'My attack thoughts are attacking my invulnerability.'

It is surely obvious that if you can be attacked you are not invulnerable. Because your attack thoughts will be projected, you will fear attack. And if you fear attack, you must believe you are not invulnerable. Attack thoughts therefore make you vulnerable in your own mind..Attack thoughts and invulnerability cannot be accepted together. They contradict each other.

6 practice periods of 2 minutes each today. Repeat the idea for today, review any unresolved issues which are causing concern with closed eyes. First name the situation:

'I am concerned about...............

Then go over every possible outcome that has occurred to you

'I am afraid......will happen'

Repeat the following

'That thought is an attack upon myself'

Having to focus on the things that are unresolved and causing me concern made the day feel very negative. It brought up fears I wasn't even aware I had, and outcomes I wasn't even aware I was thinking about. It made me realize how insidiously fears seep into the subconscious, can bypass the positive stuff you're working on, and rest, unnoticed in some crevice, eating away at one's self-confidence and self-esteem.

There were times during one of the practice periods when I felt sick from the realization of what I've been giving living space to in my thoughts. These horrible self limiting thoughts are like the weeds I talked about earlier, the minute you take your attention off them they grow new roots. Tony Quinn talks about needing to be a good gardener who water the flowers and pull up the weeds. I've been focusing on watering the flowers in the hope that they would flourish and leave no space for the weed. I think there may have been some roots left behind though. I have some serious weeding to do, to allow the flowers to bloom to their full potential.

A powerful lesson.
Thursday, 26 January 2012

Lesson 25 - What the hell do I know?

'I do not know what anything is for.'

Purpose is meaning. Today's idea explains why nothing you see means anything. You do not know what its for, therefore it is meaningless. Everything is for your own best interest......It is in the recognising of this that your goals become unified....When you believe this, you will try to withdraw the goals you have assigned to the world, instead of attempting to reinforce them.

It is crucial to your learning to be willing to give up the goals you have established for everything.

This lesson really messed with my head today, almost sent me dizzy with confusion as I looked around me and said, as my eyes rested on any object,

'I do not know what this bed is for.'

'I do not know what this jogger is for.'

'I do not know what this money is for.'

'I do not know what this person is for.' and so on and so on within the 6 practice sessions recommended. The thing is, I found myself doing it all day. The more I did it the more confused I got. I've set a long list of goals for this year, does it mean my goals are meaningless, if everything is for my own best interest does that mean I have to welcome everything into my life, however unpleasant and uncomfortable it may be?

By the end of the day, and especially after a chat with a friend about it, I began to see that my goals were not at odds with what is best for me, so long as I accept that whatever comes my way is a way of preparing me for carrying out my purpose. Therefore, adverse situations will sometimes occur to help me grow in the direction of my purpose. This way, everything is about unifying my goals. It's not inconsistent with my morning prayer...'make me who you would have me be, that I might do as you would have me do.'

I found a little light relief at the Apples and Snakes poetry night 'Hit the Ode,' at which Sue Brown was performing. Also headlining was Spain's Dani Orviz and Luke Wright. Three very different and very thought stimulating poets. There were also a number of open mic slots. With a five pound door charge, I might be persuaded to perform, as performers get free entry.

Pics are of Sue and Luke.
Wednesday, 25 January 2012

Lesson 24 - Whose interest?

' I do not perceive my own best interests'

In no situation that arises do you realize the outcome that would make you happy. Therefore, you have no guide to appropriate action, and no way of judging the result. In applying the idea for today, name each situation that occurs to you, and then enumerate as many goals as possible that you would like to be met in it's resolution.
In this situation involving.., I would like... to happen, and ...to happen.

Then say, 'I do not perceive my own best interest in this situation.'

If these exercise are done properly, you will quickly recognise that you are making a large number of demands of the situation that have nothing to do with it.

I found today's lesson the most challenging to date. I thought of my situations, looked at the outcomes I was expecting and only on one occasion did I feel that I was a little over expectant on the hoped for goals. I seemed to be getting through the day fine, till I did the practice sessions, which, frankly, left me feeling worse than before I started.

Instead of focusing on all the great things happening in my life (like writing nearly 4000 of my novel) I found myself focusing on all the negative unresolved issues. Like tonight being the last night of my regular belly dance class, (see pic above) and the hassle of having to find another class miles away, like issues with tenants, with my children. These are things that I would normally take in my stride, now, being asked to focus on them, and telling myself that I don't know what's good for me really messed with my head today. Hope tomorrow is better!!!
Tuesday, 24 January 2012

Lesson 23 - Escape from attack

'I can escape from the world I see by giving up attack thoughts.'

The idea for today contains the only way out of fear that will ever succeed. Nothing else will ever work; everything else is meaningless. But this way cannot fail. Every thought you have makes up a segment of the world you see.
As you look about you, repeat the idea slowly to yourself first, and then close your eyes and devote about a minute to searching our mind for as many attack thoughts as occur to you, As each on crosses you mind say.
'I can escape from the world I see by giving up attack thoughts about.......'

I had underlined the words 'Every thought you have makes up a segment of the world you see.' in the text of this lesson first time round. Then, I guess I was a little incredulous that I was totally responsible for my world, the world I see. It's a concept I'm more signed up to now. However, I was stunned to find that there are still aspects of my life that I am not happy with...and having to accept that is all up to me. During the practice sessions today I found thoughts of rejection, of inadequacy and of lack. When, I want to know, did all these things sneak back into my life to become part of the world I see. When I did the course the first time it felt like the hard drive of my computer got wiped of all the currupting programmes and was replaced with a load of positive ones. Over the years some of those currupting ones must have sneaked back in. Seems I have some more work to do before I can truly fly.
Monday, 23 January 2012

Lesson 22 - Forms of vengence

'What I see is a form of vengeance.'

Today's idea accurately describes the way anyone who holds attack thoughts in his mind must see the world. Having projected his anger onto the world, he sees vengeance about to strike at him. His own attack is thus perceived as self defence. this becomes an increasingly vicious circle until he is willing to change how he sees.

Look at the world about you at least five times today, for at least a minute each time. Say to yourself.
I see only the perishable; I see nothing that will last; What I see is not real; What I see is a form of vengeance. Is this the world I want to see?

I practiced this lesson in several different places today. On the High Street I was confronted with the perishable in the amount of shops that have closed and been boarded up. Obviously they did not last. Other things like the green grocer and the butcher, whose goods are by nature perishable, made sense. As I queued in the bank I wondered how much longer that system will last, will money be replace by gold again, will we have come full circle? Or will it be replaced by something else. Already we are returning in small ways to bartering, trading skills for goods, or skills for skills; plumbers fixing boilers for mechanics who fix their cars.

When I went to the art gallery this afternoon on my way to a Writers Without Borders meeting, I was instantly calmed by the soft energy in the ceramic gallery. The beautiful green wrought iron on the wide staircases and balcony always brings me a great deal of pleasure, and I'd like to think it would always be there. I couldn't think how it was a form of vengeance. In fact I didn't quite understand that part of the lesson. How were these things a form of vengeance? I'm accepting that at this stage I don't understand everything. Will I ever?
Sunday, 22 January 2012

Lesson 21

'I am determined to see things differently'

In the practice periods, begin by repeating the idea to yourself. Then close your eyes and search your mind carefully for situations past, present, or anticipated that arouse anger in you. The anger may take the form of any reaction ranging from mild irritation to rage.The degree of the emotion you experience does not matter. You will become increasingly aware that a slight twinge of annoyance is nothing but a veil drawn over intense fury.

Hold each angry thought in mind while telling yourself,
I am determined to see......(person or specific situation) differently

I began the day with meditation and prayer, and my usual plea to God to 'make me who you would have me be that I might do as you would have me do.' My first task of the day was to write for an hour. My aim today was to get to 10,000 words, by using every available opportunity to write. Happy that at the end of the day my work count is 11,116.

I bought a calendar today, another step in my process of becoming more organised, more systematise, more routinised. The calendar has a different stunning tropical beach to each month. I am sending a clear message to the universe. The year planner will come tomorrow.

My other main task consisted of working with a client who seemed, at one point, willing to choose death over a step-by-step process, but has now returned from that point.

My lesson was not very challenging today, as I could not find many annoying or angry thoughts. It's been a great day!
Saturday, 21 January 2012

Lesson 20 - Determined to see

'I am determined to see.'

The exercises for today consists in reminding yourself throughout the day that you want to see. Today's idea also tacitly implies the recognition that you do not see now. Therefore, as you repeat the idea, you are stating that you are determined to change your present state for a better one, and one you really want.

I was sent sufficient challenges today to really practice this lesson, from the lateness of the Zumba teacher this morning to the landlord who I believe bullies her tenants to hide the fact she may be acting illegally. I say may because I will have to seek legal advise on Monday the matter to be absolutely certain.

Whenever I encountered bullying, or lying, or aggressive behaviour today, I found it enormously helpful to repeat the lesson 'I am determined to see,' and what I saw was naked fear, to which I tried to send love. Wasn't always as loving a I could have been. On a scale of 1-10, perhaps 7. But then, I am work in progress.

This picture, taken in Aberdeen about ten years ago ,reminds me of the illusionary nature of what we see. How easy would it be, if we didn't know different, to believe the lights were in the water, and not simply a reflection.

Wrote another couple thousands of words on the novel today, nearing completion of chapter 4.

Friday, 20 January 2012

Lesson 19 - Still connected

'I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my thoughts'

Today we again emphasize the fact that minds are joined. This is rarely a wholly welcome idea at first, since it seems to carry with it an enormous sense of responsibility, and may even be regarded as an 'invasion of privacy' Yet it is a fact that there are no private thoughts.

Today I closed my eyes and searched my thoughts and repeated,
'I am not alone in experiencing the effects of this thought about......TV, news, friends, trainers, designer specs, spinning classes, writing....and many more.
For some of them it was reassuring to know that I was not on my own, for others I'd hate to think someone was sharing exactly the same experience...yet I've read the Intention Experiment by Lynn Tagget (author also of The Field) and know that thought transcend time and space. That's why prayer works. So it stands to reason that someone, somewhere, was experiencing the effects of my thoughts.

I spoke to a friend this evening who said 'I was just thinking about you.' How many times has that happened to you?
Thursday, 19 January 2012

Lesson 18 - We're all joined

'I am not alone in experiencing the effects of my seeing'

The idea for today is another step in learning that the thoughts which give rise to what you see are never neutral or unimportant. It also emphasizes the idea that minds are joined.

I spent a few practice sessions looking around my home and saying
'I am not alone in experiencing the effects of how I see walls, mirrors, laptops, paintings incense sticks etc.

I didn't experience any real discomfort with these statements maybe because a) I already believe our minds are joined and b) I was home all day writing. I've finished the first two chapters of my new novel, so to some extent I was living in a world of my own creation. Pretty much what we do in 'real life' I guess.
Wednesday, 18 January 2012

Lesson 17 - Nothing is neutral

'I see no neutral things.'

This idea is another step in identifying cause and effect as it really operates in the world. You see no neutral things because you have no neutral thoughts. It is always the thought that comes first, despite the temptation to think it is the other way round. This is not the way the world thinks, but you must learn that it is the way you think. Today's exercise: anything you look at say

'I do not see a neutral.....,because my thoughts about.....are not neutral'

I spent the day looking at things that I have taken for granted, not given a second thought to, not realizing how much value judgement I'd imbued everything with. For example, on the drive back on the M42, I recognised that the signs I'd hitherto thought I felt nothing about suddenly had meaning. I realized I made associations with the places to which the signs directed us, the cameras, the warning messages, all had meaning. I begun to wonder if others in their cars saw what I saw, and were they even aware that on some level they were giving meaning to the bare trees they passed, the green grass, each other's cars, the lorries.

I looked at the walls in my house and saw that they meant more than I had ever appreciated, as did the doors, the windows, the floor. In the world I see around me nothing is neutral, and I have given them whatever meaning they have.

When our belly dance teacher announced tonight that she was ceasing teaching I felt bereft, as though the rug had been pulled out from under me. I looked around and saw that others shared my interpretation of her leaving. I guess those who would not miss her had already voted with their feet and left. Those of us who turned up week after week would now have a hole in our lives that she filled each week on a Wednesday night. I tried to see it as an opportunity to try something or someone new, but my thought were very firmly rooted in my loss. My thoughts are showing me cause to grieve instead of cause to explore. I feel very sad tonight.

Photo: Belly dance class performance

Because you're worth it?

I've just returned from a beauty treatment afternoon, bought for me as a birthday present back in September. The thing about buying Groupon vouchers as presents is that, unless you know the establishment for which you buying, it can be very hit and miss. The beauty lounge was just that, the front lounge of what used to be (and actually looks like its used as) some one's house. The proprietor, an entrepreneurial 27 year old, managed to ingeniously cram 5 couches into a room about 20 ft x 18 ft. The room also included the reception desk, another therapist, and six very pink high backed waiting chairs. This was in keeping with the pink and black theme. Each couch was separated by black curtains, which, when closed, wrapped themselves like cling film around the therapist. Pink towels provided splashes of colour on the black coverings.

I was having a back massage, a facial and a foot soak. It was originally to be a fish pedicure till the bottom dropped out of the Garra Ruffa market, following the infection scare a couple of weeks ago. The far end of the room is used for customers who are likely to be there for a while, leaving the couches nearer the door for those popping in for hair removal; chin, upper lip, and eyebrows. There was a constant stream of them, mostly older Asian women, but also a few English women, most of whom joked that they would benefit from having a few pounds removed also.

The back massage was pleasant, but would not have shifted any stubborn knots if there had been any. My face was the main event. I was cleansed, exfoliated, steamed (not so easy to breathe with jets of steam blowing up your nose, but somehow I managed to drift off to sleep, only to be woken by the eye patches falling into my ears) and cleansed again. Then came the surprise.

My young therapist, who couldn't have been more than 22, with flawless skin, said she was going to remove the black heads from my nose. 'It may be a little painful,' she lilted in an almost seductive Asian accent, before applying her instrument of torture. She slid something along my nose from bridge to rim, with the precision of a surgeon slicing through skin, without the benefit of an anesthetic. I nearly leapt off the couch. My eyes instantly sprang a leak and my body went into rigour mortis from the pain.

She tried to reassure me that they were coming out beautifully, and wanted to know what kind of mask I wanted. MASK! Was she about to disfigure me? No what kind of facial mask did I want? I told her I couldn't think. 'That's half way done,' she stood back looking pleased, 'now I do the the other side.' 'More?' I asked weakly? 'You will like it,' she said emphatically and dug in. Not since the birth of my first child have I experienced such pain, and said so. 'Yes, but is worth the pain,' she insisted. I got the impression she thought I was a bit of a wimp, but was oh so sweet about it.

Then she repeated the choices she'd been giving me during the torture which I could not comprehend then. Normal mask or whitening mask. 'Whitening mask?' 'To make your skin whiter. It's nice. We offer the Asian ladies. They like it. It's good for your skin.' She seemed genuinely surprised that I opted for the normal mask, and checked three times to make sure I didn't want to change my mind. Now, I have heard about the amount of skin whitening that goes on in the Asian community, and I know it happens in mine too, but to be offered so blatantly, and so insistently.....I was shocked.

My feet were softened in a bubble bath, exfoliated and moisturised while I let the normal mask tighten my previously opened pores. More cleansing and moisturising and I was ready to go. 'You should do this more often,' they told me. You deserve it. Mmmmm....I'm not sure!

Photo: Keisha Diamond
Tuesday, 17 January 2012

Lesson 16 - You are what you think

'I have no neutral thoughts'

The idea for today is a beginning step in dispelling the belief that your thoughts have no effects. Everything you see is a result of your thoughts. There is no exceptions to this fact. Thoughts are not big or little; powerful or weak.They are merely true or false.

As I drove down the M42 this morning in the bright sunshine which was bringing little heat to the frosted grass,and glistening icy roads, I longed for the Beach in Barbados, and wondered what thought brought me here instead of there. The truth is that I'm here and must find pleasure in the winter or wish my life away.

I spent most of the day creating a new website for Writers Without Borders on Wordpress. I say I, but it was mostly Andrew with me assisting with content. A virtual world that we created from out thoughts? What makes that one different to the one I face every day? The exercise for the day was -

'This thought about....is not a neutral thought.'

I found it hard to stay positive today, a result of scrutinising every thought and knowing that I was creating whatever I was unhappy with. Still, I'm very happy with the results of the new site.
Monday, 16 January 2012

Lesson 15 Did the sun really shine?

'My thoughts are images that I have made'

Today's lesson is really about the fact that we project our thoughts as images into the world, so we are not really seeing something 'out there' we are seeing our thoughts. I guess it's why ten people can see the same incident and describe it differently, because they are projecting their own thoughts on what they observe.

So, today I had to look around me, select something to focus on and say, 'This... is an image that I have made' It was easy enough to do for physical things like the TV, the bed, the vacuum cleaner, but I struggled a bit with the grass, the trees, the sky. I guess with the former I can easily imagine the objects being the product of some one's thoughts, but the sky and trees and grass were made by God.

I went to the High St and wondered if all the people there were my projections, like a director makes a film and then sits and watches it. It appears real, but he could go in and change anything in the film and when it's projected it will look different. If I am projecting the world around me then I need to picture more beautiful things, a brighter High St, less stressed looking people, more smiles, less frowns, warmer temperatures, more leaves on trees, bluer skies, (although the sky was splendidly blue and the sun shone bright today) Did everyone see it? Or was it only seen by those of us who made the image of sun in blue sky?

Such are my questions.
Sunday, 15 January 2012

Lesson 14 - Is it really not real?

'God did not create a meaningless world'

The idea for today is, of course, the reason why a meaningless world is impossible. What God did not create does not exist. And everything that does exist exists as He created it. The world you see has nothing to do with reality. It is of your own making, and it does not exist.

This was a challenging one today, as my brother told me about the ship that sank killing so many people and so many still missing. Was that not real? Those physical bodies are no longer here, they will no longer be interacting with their loved ones. Is it of my own making that those people no longer walk on this earth? If that wasn't real, neither was the great time I had at my friend's 50th birthday party. Or was that meaningful because God created fun. Is fun love and shipwrecks fear? Is death nothing but fear and therefore meaningless?

That's not what so many families will be feeling tonight.
Saturday, 14 January 2012

Lesson 13

'A meaningless world engenders fear'

'I am looking at a meaningless world'

'A meaningless world engenders fear because I think I am in competition with God'

I am living in a world where fear is so prevalent that today I dealt with three situations based in fear. One suicide attempt, one person who thinks he's been cursed by evil spirits, and one person who has never spoken to anyone about the child he's killed. Even my my standards, it's been a heavy day. A change in thinking was essential in each case for them to find peace. That's what ACIM define as a miracle - a change of thought! There were three miracles today. I am, however, exhausted; no head space to write tonight; having an early night.

Photo: Keisha Diamond

Friday, 13 January 2012

Lesson 12

'I am upset because I see a meaningless world'

The importance of this idea lies in the fact that it contains a correction for a major perceptual distortion. You think what upsets you is a frightening world, or a sad world, or a violent world, or an insane world. All these attributes are given it by you. The world is meaningless in itself.

Today's practice was less of struggle than yesterday; mainly because I was not sharing as many people's pain. I had another intense session with my personal trainer who explained the submission of ending moves on your knees, and the comfort of the child's pose when you are absolutely exhausted. The latter he encourages as a way to gather your strength, the former he discourages because it gives you permission to give up.

I saw different meanings to things that I had never taken the trouble to even think about - thus reinforcing the lesson that the world has only the meaning that I give it. I spent some time after my training talking to another member of the gym who is desperate to give a different meaning to his life/to his world.

Photo: Keisha Diamond
Thursday, 12 January 2012

Lesson 11- A Course in Miracles

I've decided to do A Course in Miracles (ACIM)again. When I completed it the first time in 2005, I couldn't understand why anyone would want, or need, to do it again. Surely, I thought, if one followed all the lessons as prescribed, and had all the learning, there should be no need to do it again. How naive I was then, as I often am about things spiritual. How grossly I underestimated the the egos ability to find any and every available opportunity to re-establish itself in little pockets of fear, feeding and growing larger.

I am now in my tenth year of active spiritual development; prior to that I didn't even believe in a spirit. ACIM helped me to understand, in ways that speak to me directly, that only love is real, and anything that isn't love is fear. But when my resistance is low, and the ego speaks more loudly than usual, I forget, and I believe fear to be real. This year will be my treat to myself. My time to re-establish myself in the energy of love on a daily basis. I am currently at the undoing of old beliefs stage. My lesson today is:

'My meaningless thoughts are showing me a meaningless world.'

'This is the first idea that is related to a major phase of the correction process; the reversal of the thinking of the world. It seems as if the world determines what you perceive. Today's idea introduces the concept that your thoughts determine the world you see.'
Tuesday, 10 January 2012

Book 2

The year is whizzing by. January 10th already. The dearth of blogging is because I've started writing my second novel. Using a different approach. Have done all the characters and plot before beginning to write. It will still be organic, but more of a 'structured' organic. I want to see if this speeds up the process, as I also have a book on parenting to write this year.

My detox is going well, and it may not be entirely mind over matter but I have way more energy and ideas. I'm going to the gym 3-4 times a week and started with a personal trainer on Saturday. Did yoga tonight cause I couldn't get to my Tai Chi class and really enjoyed it, may stick with it for a while to increase my flexibility and help build my strength.

My word for this year is DISCIPLINE - its the only way I'm going to achieve my long list of goals this year, and much as I've been resisting it, routine will be essential. Two books this year? Can I do it? YES I CAN!

On another note. I had a query about Butlers in the Buff this week. I met them when I did the Trinny and Suzanna show back in 2008. Nice aprons.
Sunday, 1 January 2012

Happy New Year

Started the year in Just the Tonic in Nottingham with three excellent comedians - including one of my favourites, Matt Brigstock, and about three hundred other people. After the tables were cleared away to make way for the dancing, we found ourselves by one set of speakers. Common senses had obviously absented itself because we stayed there for nearly fours hours, and consequently could not hear properly till at least four o'clock this afternoon. It was a great night though. See me enjoying my last drink before a three month detox!! It will be a challenge but I'm sure I can do it.