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A few years ago I decided to start a new career as a performer. I used to be a biology teacher but couldn't face walking around in a white coat all day teaching children who didn't want to learn. Actually it wasn't so much the children as the system cause I think all children want to learn - they just don't all want to learn in schools. Anyway I now work as a Life and Executive coach. Work is perhaps not the right word because it never feels like work. I just love to see people grow and change. I love it when they peel of the layers of limiting beliefs and find their true self. And I make some great frends in the process. I've re-discovered my writing and have published two poetry books and now working on 2 CDs, a novel, a book of short stories and talking to someone about a collaoration on a film script. That should keep me busy for a whild. Oh and I do bellydance.
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Wednesday 18 January 2012

Lesson 17 - Nothing is neutral

'I see no neutral things.'


This idea is another step in identifying cause and effect as it really operates in the world. You see no neutral things because you have no neutral thoughts. It is always the thought that comes first, despite the temptation to think it is the other way round. This is not the way the world thinks, but you must learn that it is the way you think. Today's exercise: anything you look at say

'I do not see a neutral.....,because my thoughts about.....are not neutral'

I spent the day looking at things that I have taken for granted, not given a second thought to, not realizing how much value judgement I'd imbued everything with. For example, on the drive back on the M42, I recognised that the signs I'd hitherto thought I felt nothing about suddenly had meaning. I realized I made associations with the places to which the signs directed us, the cameras, the warning messages, all had meaning. I begun to wonder if others in their cars saw what I saw, and were they even aware that on some level they were giving meaning to the bare trees they passed, the green grass, each other's cars, the lorries.

I looked at the walls in my house and saw that they meant more than I had ever appreciated, as did the doors, the windows, the floor. In the world I see around me nothing is neutral, and I have given them whatever meaning they have.

When our belly dance teacher announced tonight that she was ceasing teaching I felt bereft, as though the rug had been pulled out from under me. I looked around and saw that others shared my interpretation of her leaving. I guess those who would not miss her had already voted with their feet and left. Those of us who turned up week after week would now have a hole in our lives that she filled each week on a Wednesday night. I tried to see it as an opportunity to try something or someone new, but my thought were very firmly rooted in my loss. My thoughts are showing me cause to grieve instead of cause to explore. I feel very sad tonight.



Photo: Belly dance class performance

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