Life continues at breakneck speed. Cancelled my bellydance lesson this week and no practice whatsoever. Will be going this week though. I'm desparate for a holiday.

Ever felt like your life is spiralling out of control? Things have been so hectic sometimes I don't know if I'm coming or going. It really does feel like a blur. I stayed in bed till midday today, got up and went out for a birthday lunch with Andrew's dad. Not great health wise that my first drink of the day is a glass of medium sweet German white. If they thought I wasn't my normal perky self they didn't say. They did however offer to look after things for us for a while if we wanted to take a holiday.

What's keeping me so occupied? Dealing with property and tennants. I wish I could say it was my writing or my bellydance but alas they are getting pushed to the margins. Still doing both but not spending nearly as much time on them as I'd like. I took part in a reading at the United Reform Church in Sutton Coldfield on Rememberance Day. The emphasis was on uplifting poems so took along my favourite one of Maya Angelou 'Still I Rise' and was suitably uplifted by it and all the others read. I declined the performance at 'The Public' on the 13th. I just did not have the energy and we had tickets for The Kegworth Players performance of Sue Townsend's 'Groping for Words' the following night. It was good for an amdram production. The village hall was packed out cafe style. The wine flowed as easily as the laughter and a good time was had by all. Would you credit it that I found myself agreeing to go along to their next meeting on the first Tuesday of next month?

It just feel like I'm lurching from one thing to the other with not much time to savour any of them. Hopefully this will change when all the houses are done.

Needing to believe

Been practicing wrist action like crazy. A billion times wouldn't be too many my teacher said. I have to remember that the journey of a thouand miles begins with one step. I found a picture that reminds me of what it's like to trust. This is me being guided blindfolded down a mountain - I'd never abseiled before. If I could trust my guide then; I can trust my teacher now - and most of all trust myself that I can do it. And this picture was taken just 4 days before my wedding!!

Writing still going well. New poem today plus another verse in my dad's one. After 2 weeks of practicing wrist movements the teacher said I'd been doing it wrong - need to focus more on wrists - not hands. I nearly cried. Good bits - ballet arm positions doing very well. As a result of so much remdial work no more was added to the choreography. SOB! SOB! Will be a miracle it I've mastered this dance in time for the Hafla.

It's back

Oh Lord I'm writing again. Wrote another verse of my Dad's poem. I feel like I'm getting to know him in a way I'd never imagined. This may sound wierd but when I write I feel he's telling me what it was like for him. (Could be just an over active imagination - even so I'm glad it's back). Been reading more of Lobo's poetry - WOW.

And the belly dance? Got in a good half an hour's practice today. Yes I remember the routine but I'm still woefully inadequate in the execution of the moves. Still, I'll have a chance to display them tomorrow to the teacher. She may well wonder what I've been doing for the last two week.

Memory lane

Just had a previous resident of my house in B'ham pull up outside the house while I was seeing off the French guy who had come for some help with his psychology assignment. He said he used to live here as a child, moved in 1991. His family moved while he was away at boarding school and he's never been back inside - driven past a few times. The place held very happy memories for him. I invited him in - he was almost in tears as he explained he'd just been to see his mom's grave and what special memories this house had for him. Used to be five siblings (4 boys and a girl) plus parents. He's a nurse now at QE hospital but a bit of a rebel in his younger days - hence the boarding school. Told me there used to be a pear tree at the bottom of the garden with a tree house which was his den. Then he kissed my hand, thanked me, gave me a hug and left. How random is that.

Inspired again

Tonight I saw 9 poets at the Drum. 4 South Africans and 5 local poets they spent the last week working with. I have simply been inspired to write again. Listening to their amazing tales I realised why I had stopped writing. (I say had because as of tonight I'm writing again). It was because I thought I had nothing to say; thought I had no story worth telling; nothing interesting that I hadn't already said. How wrong I've been. One of the local poets wrote about her name-its origins and how she has grown into it. I can tell a story about my name if I wish. Lebo talked about how she is formed by the strengths and weakenesses of both her parents and what an amazing 'dancer' that makes her. How am I the product of my parents; what have I taken from them; what would I rather have left? Donata focused on children-his own and other peoples -they are the reason we are here he said-its what its all about-without children there would be no point to it all. (Interestingly I read two poems about Miles at WWB today) What else can I write about children? Me who have worked with them and on behalf of them for so long.

Of the four South Africans I was most inspired by Lebogang Mashile. Bought her book and even asked her to sign it. It was the second signed poetry book of the day- one of the WWB members gave me a signed copy of her book today 'for being an inspiring'!!! When did I do that I asked myself (but kept the question to myself).

The other SA poets were Keorapetse Kgositsile, Donata Mattera, and Phillippa Yaa de Villiers. This was the first date of the tour 'Beyond Words'. They are doing the Southbank Centre 4th Nov; Saville Exchange North Sheilds 7th Nov; The Albany London 10th Nov; Contact Manchester 12 Nov; and Bristol Old Vic 15th Nov. Worth seeing if you are anywhere near.

I've spent the day steeped in poetry and now I'm off to write. Halelulah I actually have some subject matter. I have a rich life; I have a story (or is it many stories) to tell.