Having to focus on the things that are unresolved and causing me concern made the day feel very negative. It brought up fears I wasn't even aware I had, and outcomes I wasn't even aware I was thinking about. It made me realize how insidiously fears seep into the subconscious, can bypass the positive stuff you're working on, and rest, unnoticed in some crevice, eating away at one's self-confidence and self-esteem.

There were times during one of the practice periods when I felt sick from the realization of what I've been giving living space to in my thoughts. These horrible self limiting thoughts are like the weeds I talked about earlier, the minute you take your attention off them they grow new roots. Tony Quinn talks about needing to be a good gardener who water the flowers and pull up the weeds. I've been focusing on watering the flowers in the hope that they would flourish and leave no space for the weed. I think there may have been some roots left behind though. I have some serious weeding to do, to allow the flowers to bloom to their full potential.

A powerful lesson.